In Vino is Slightly Too Much Veritas

G&G -

On many occasions, when arriving at a friend’s home, I present the host with a bottle of wine.

Each time, they politely set aside my wine aside and serve their own to me, keeping the bottle I brought for themselves (when in fact it’s a much better wine, and I bring it so I can drink it with them, naturally).

Can I comment on that, and request my own wine? Because, really, I have much better taste, and they always serve us the cheap stuff and hoarde my gift for later. That’s just wrong.

Wondering about wine,
Vinny

Dear Sir,

Miss Verity was on the brink of suggesting you find new friends, but she caught herself just in time. Presumably some strong bond–affection, maybe, or blackmail–ties you to these persons of inferior taste, and it is hardly Miss Verity’s place to pry into the nature of such relationships.

Moving swiftly on, then, she would first of all suggest you approach this in the right frame of mind. Do give your friends the benefit of the doubt, and attempt to believe (or at least attempt to convey the impression that you believe) that they are acting from the best possible motives. This is one of those polite social fictions of which Miss Verity is so fond. It is entirely possible your hosts don’t realize they’re inflicting inferior vintages on you.

There isn’t, Miss Verity regrets to inform you, anything you can actually do to stop them serving whatever they choose. Just as one of the joys of providing hospitality is planning menus and selecting wine, one of the duties of accepting said hospitality involves acting graciously towards whatever is offered. Miss Verity has, herself, been forced to pretend to enjoy things made of “jello,” once carrying the pretense so far that she actually consumed a fragment of the horror in question, so rest assured she understands exactly how difficult such efforts can be.

It pains her to think of your wine sitting there, unopened and unimbibed. Her advice is that you open it. No: you may not suggest that it replace anything your hosts have chosen, however erroneous their belief that their choices complement anything in view. What you may do is cheerfully suggest a pre-dinner drink and start pouring out your own offering without pause or delay. The speed with which Miss Verity and her compatriots here at G&G can whip a cork out of a bottle would bring tears of pride to a vintner’s eyes. It is a skill well wirth cultivating, and ensures you get to consume at least one drink that is entirely to your taste. After that, she suggests you make your most valiant effort, and swallow your pride along with a sporting serving of whatever else is on tap.

Best of luck,

~Miss Verity